OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I asked my husband's niece to give back the expensive gift we got her because she cancelled the celebration she usually does for my birthday, could be the ass because I asked her not to bring her boyfriend to the party and that is why she cancelled. OP get a family photo of your family and include your husband smiling to mail to every member of his family. Put it in a nice frame with your maiden name family engraved on the frame. Have children and send constant photos of the new baby giggling with your parents and siblings. Yes, he probably has a problem but you can only help people who actually want help and it is not ops job to break her back to fix him. And I honestly think you are guilting op and that you advise is actually harmful here- even if you are correct. Op doesn't use the insults you contribute to her account of the story. Dec 16, 2022 · Case in point: a recent AITA post about Christmas party invitations and a difficult husband with over 6,000 commenters calling the husband an asshole. Svetikd / Getty Images. On AITA, people share ... I’ve (28) been with my husband (31) for 5 years, married for 2. One daughter (almost 3 I’ll use v for her name) I love and appreciate my husband, he provides for our family and does a good job taking care of us, he’s a sweet man who has so much potential but he wastes it outside He’s always loved camping/being outside and I thought it was cute at first but at this point I find it hard ... Also, please be assured I do NOT think I am low-value in any way. I let my husband make me think less of myself on some levels for a short time but now I truly see it was a "him" problem. Obviously we don't share the same goals and values and he has become someone I don't recognize. I know the divorce won't be fun or easy, but I will be okay. I'll preface this by saying that my husband (Luke) M32 does not get along with my parents. You can't tell who's right or who's wrong, there's always this ongoing tension between them but can be civil enough to sit together at one table. I recently got an invitation for christmas celebration from my parents. That's what my husband and I do. I'm vegetarian and do the majority of cooking. If my husband wants meat in a meal, he needs to cook it himself or we go out. He's never complained about me forcing a vegetarian diet on him. I don't force him to eat vegetarian, he is free to get meat for himself, I just don't cook meat for him. Read this before contacting the mod team. My (23F) husband (27M) and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3. We’re both athletic people, so we’ve been planning a holiday for the past year, without going into major details it’s an expensive (by my standards) holiday and it would’ve involved a lot of hiking, I was looking forward ... My husband though works very long hours, sometimes close to 16 hours a day. He’s a hospitalists at a hospital nearly an hour away. I love my husband, we’ve been together since high school but he’s never home. He works 7 days a week, some days are shorter then others, but my husband has an issue with picking up and staying. AITA for ignoring my husband. I ( Carla 30) am six months pregnant with my husband's ( Harry 31) baby. Harry and I have been married for a year and two days and I'm pregnant with our first child. During this pregnancy, I've been very exhausted everyday and would usually come home from work and go to bed an hour later, then I'd wake up at ... You sound extremely jealous & somewhat controlling. Nothing you’ve written here suggests that you needed protection, so your grievance regarding your husband ‘not being protective’ of you appears to be without merit. He didn’t interrupt a phone call to tell you what was going on & then you were angry over Monopoly. YTA. This is pretty controlling behavior. I turned my search history off when I was doing research on proposals....he could literally be doing anything.NTA my husband also leaves his phone home all the time accidently and if he's gone a bit longer than expected I also worry he's been an accident. Luckily my other half always turns up shortly after and it was busy/Road works/ whatever. But 3 hours, yep would deffo go looking and chew gim a new one if he was just gambling at 8am. Insane. My husband just happened to walk by and when he saw me searching his pants pockets. He rushed in yelling at me to put his pants down. I already had a folded piece of paper out but he snatched it then started screaming at me about how I have no respect for his privacy and that I shouldn't be getting my hands on his things.That's what my husband and I do. I'm vegetarian and do the majority of cooking. If my husband wants meat in a meal, he needs to cook it himself or we go out. He's never complained about me forcing a vegetarian diet on him. I don't force him to eat vegetarian, he is free to get meat for himself, I just don't cook meat for him. My husband (48M) and I (38F) were at the shopping mall to do some errands. We had to pick up some dry cleaning and tailored items, as well as do some grocery shopping. Problem is, they are both at opposite ends of the shopping centre. Instead of wasting time and doing it together, we both decided to split up, and after I had collected the dry ... My husband (48M) and I (38F) were at the shopping mall to do some errands. We had to pick up some dry cleaning and tailored items, as well as do some grocery shopping. Problem is, they are both at opposite ends of the shopping centre. Instead of wasting time and doing it together, we both decided to split up, and after I had collected the dry ... My house growing up was always, if you don't like it, go to bed hungry. OP's partner has been spoiled in the past and is trying to push to see how far he can abuse OP's goodwill. 3. level 2. · 2 mo. ago Partassipant [1] No kidding. At the very least he could ask for what he wants a few hrs in advance. The idea of looking at other people, with a possibility of lust or arousal, is often seen as some level of infidelity, and it is a perfectly valid feeling with constant issues arising among people's relationships with cheating and whatnot. In today's world, however, people who have a more open view of relationships and the human body have been ... Context: my husband [33] used to be unemployed for a year, he recently started a job at a warehouse. Yesterday, and while I was about to do the laundry, I grabbed his work pants and digged my hand in it's pockets to empty them before putting it in the washing machine like I always do. We added two F9 and M4 to the blended family. We had custody of stepson until he did an unthinkable act to my daughters in Oct. 21. SIL45 told husband he shouldn't be supporting my daughters and he should leave me, because his son needed him. Stepson moved back to be with mom well over 1500 miles away from us. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver My husband just happened to walk by and when he saw me searching his pants pockets. He rushed in yelling at me to put his pants down. I already had a folded piece of paper out but he snatched it then started screaming at me about how I have no respect for his privacy and that I shouldn't be getting my hands on his things.But I tried. And my husband supported me. My mental health improved greatly with his support, although I still had a myriad of other issues making holding a job difficult. After having my son, I had multiple surgeries to save my life, and we decided I would take a break from working and focus of recovery and parenthood. Of course it’s not a problem to him that he acts emotionally immature. He gets to what he wants when he wants and not be bothered with how he affects others. This is, however, a problem for your relationship. Husband probably has no inkling how terrifying it can be to witness a grown man having a temper tantrum. You and your husband are evil. ESH except the forgotten son and your two children that you dragged into this that will be forgotten when your husband moves onto family #3. If his son's cancer isn't your problem, then your daughter's college shouldnt be his problem. ESH but also - f*ck the American health care system. I’ve (28) been with my husband (31) for 5 years, married for 2. One daughter (almost 3 I’ll use v for her name) I love and appreciate my husband, he provides for our family and does a good job taking care of us, he’s a sweet man who has so much potential but he wastes it outside He’s always loved camping/being outside and I thought it was cute at first but at this point I find it hard ... My best friend used to do this until I raised my voice at her in a crowded restaurant, and she's never done it since. Unfortunately, this man sounds absolutely shameless. My best friend had bad manners from growing up in a similar environment to OP's husband, but she's not an altogether selfish human being. That's the difference. • 43 min. ago by Gromitthedog AITA for looking at my husband's search history and finding he signed up for dating sites? My husband (46m) and I (48f) have been married for 4 years with the last year separated and trying to work things out. It's like he's looking for this perfect, needle-in-a-haystack job. Meanwhile, I'm drowning in my job and housework to give him space and time. I told him he's being too picky and is eliminating huge opportunities and he got pretty upset with me. He said he just wants me to be supportive.Jul 5, 2018 · Specialk9 * July 5, 2018 at 11:59 am. Thirding this. I did everything OP did. What helped was my partner plugging away at some skills he thought (rightly) he needed before applying, then going to a career transition pro, who reviewed his resume and walked him through the interview questions and answers (including saying basically, totally get why you want to ask those pointed questions, but ... You and your husband are evil. ESH except the forgotten son and your two children that you dragged into this that will be forgotten when your husband moves onto family #3. If his son's cancer isn't your problem, then your daughter's college shouldnt be his problem. ESH but also - f*ck the American health care system. AITA For asking husband to kick out FIL. Sorry if this is too long, I (f32) and husband (35m) currently rent a big house. When we were searching for a home to rent my father in law told my husband he wanted to live with us he wanted to help us and he would pay us rent. We talked it over and split the rent 3 ways . Mar 1, 2022 · However, this time, the submission is from a pregnant woman who thinks her sister-in-law might be encouraging a friend to flirt with her husband, and the wife wants to know if she's imagining ... Dec 16, 2022 · Case in point: a recent AITA post about Christmas party invitations and a difficult husband with over 6,000 commenters calling the husband an asshole. Svetikd / Getty Images. On AITA, people share ... 5. You're NTA. This discussion really should have been done in private, but your husband chose not only to do it in public, but in front of the person affected. You didn't embarrass your husband in front of his friends, he did. That being said, please notice the red flags he's waving. My husband said that he was just being there for the kids despite the fact he never had a good relationship with my children's father --- My ex husband was a good man, he wasn't the malicious type and he had always adored our kids and went to great lengths to provide them with a good life, it was rough while dealing with illness so he was and ... My husband has this 28F niece, Ash, daughter of his sister, Anna, 54F. Anna was financially struggling her entire life and she and her two kids live with MIL, Ash was always a weird, emo kid and I never really felt ok with her until 5 years ago, when Anna shared with my husband that Ash is a high functioning autist, it all made sense then ... Judgement_Bot_AITA • 3 mo. ago. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: (1) I showed up to my husband's dr appointment. NTA my husband also leaves his phone home all the time accidently and if he's gone a bit longer than expected I also worry he's been an accident. Luckily my other half always turns up shortly after and it was busy/Road works/ whatever. But 3 hours, yep would deffo go looking and chew gim a new one if he was just gambling at 8am. Insane. • 43 min. ago by Gromitthedog AITA for looking at my husband's search history and finding he signed up for dating sites? My husband (46m) and I (48f) have been married for 4 years with the last year separated and trying to work things out.Of course it’s not a problem to him that he acts emotionally immature. He gets to what he wants when he wants and not be bothered with how he affects others. This is, however, a problem for your relationship. Husband probably has no inkling how terrifying it can be to witness a grown man having a temper tantrum. My husband said that he was just being there for the kids despite the fact he never had a good relationship with my children's father --- My ex husband was a good man, he wasn't the malicious type and he had always adored our kids and went to great lengths to provide them with a good life, it was rough while dealing with illness so he was and ... Daily uploads: https://www.youtube.com/c/redditdude?sub_confirmation=1Leave comments, Like and Subscribe!Love to hear your feedbacks on how we can improve th...But I tried. And my husband supported me. My mental health improved greatly with his support, although I still had a myriad of other issues making holding a job difficult. After having my son, I had multiple surgeries to save my life, and we decided I would take a break from working and focus of recovery and parenthood. Pretty much this. NTA, of course. But that's almost besides the point. The real question isn't whether OP is an asshole or not. It's whether her husband is so psychotically cruel that he'd intentionally torment kids who just lost their father, or if he is just too dumb to realize that he unintentionally tormented said kids and absolutely should apologize profusely, repeatedly, and ASAP. Daily uploads: https://www.youtube.com/c/redditdude?sub_confirmation=1Leave comments, Like and Subscribe!Love to hear your feedbacks on how we can improve th... Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I said my husband is jealous of my relationship with our daughter. 2) I think i was rude. 3. Okay this one could be a cultural thing. My dad's side of the family has events 3+ times a week and they're super important in their eyes. My mom's side we see each other at funerals, weddings and holidays. My immediate family always tried to strike a balance, but often it pissed off dad's side. OP get a family photo of your family and include your husband smiling to mail to every member of his family. Put it in a nice frame with your maiden name family engraved on the frame. Have children and send constant photos of the new baby giggling with your parents and siblings. Saying he doesn't want another child because you can't handle the workload is a complete joke. He is a father and should be contributing. At the very least, the two of you need counselling. You need to have a hard look at what you are getting out of this relationship while you are completely supporting him. She's my friend, too, I guess. But nowhere near as friendly with me as she is with my husband. I feel often as though I'm third wheeling when I'm with them, as they'll walk ahead together, he hugs her, she laughs at all his jokes, etc. Lately, my husband has been coming inside very late as he's talking with her every night until 10:30/11pm. AITA for agreeing with my husband on his child? I (36f) met my husband (40m) in 2015 by mere accident. Dating website, I was looking for fun, he was looking for love and told me I couldn’t leave because I was his person (our marriage is fantastic by the way) We both came with a child, I’ll call his A. A was 3 at the time, I was never looked ... My husband (48M) and I (38F) were at the shopping mall to do some errands. We had to pick up some dry cleaning and tailored items, as well as do some grocery shopping. Problem is, they are both at opposite ends of the shopping centre. Instead of wasting time and doing it together, we both decided to split up, and after I had collected the dry ... Read this before contacting the mod team. My (23F) husband (27M) and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3. We’re both athletic people, so we’ve been planning a holiday for the past year, without going into major details it’s an expensive (by my standards) holiday and it would’ve involved a lot of hiking, I was looking forward ... NTA my husband also leaves his phone home all the time accidently and if he's gone a bit longer than expected I also worry he's been an accident. Luckily my other half always turns up shortly after and it was busy/Road works/ whatever. But 3 hours, yep would deffo go looking and chew gim a new one if he was just gambling at 8am. Insane.My husband just happened to walk by and when he saw me searching his pants pockets. He rushed in yelling at me to put his pants down. I already had a folded piece of paper out but he snatched it then started screaming at me about how I have no respect for his privacy and that I shouldn't be getting my hands on his things.Saying he doesn't want another child because you can't handle the workload is a complete joke. He is a father and should be contributing. At the very least, the two of you need counselling. You need to have a hard look at what you are getting out of this relationship while you are completely supporting him. NTA my husband also leaves his phone home all the time accidently and if he's gone a bit longer than expected I also worry he's been an accident. Luckily my other half always turns up shortly after and it was busy/Road works/ whatever. But 3 hours, yep would deffo go looking and chew gim a new one if he was just gambling at 8am. Insane.Her husband has only come once (the year they were engaged because he wanted to meet the extended family). This year my sister & niece came for 5 days prior to Christmas and then went home on the 21st. They spent part of Christmas Day at his aunt's house. I think my sister really wanted to visit & do our family traditions with her toddler. I'll preface this by saying that my husband (Luke) M32 does not get along with my parents. You can't tell who's right or who's wrong, there's always this ongoing tension between them but can be civil enough to sit together at one table. I recently got an invitation for christmas celebration from my parents. What starts off as just a couple viewpoints that are a ‘little’ toxic and a ‘tad’ extreme becomes an entire identity based in anger and hatred. It is poison to children. Every single one of my fathers children struggles with mental health issues, depression, CPTSD, self harm, and even suicidal ideation. NTA my husband also leaves his phone home all the time accidently and if he's gone a bit longer than expected I also worry he's been an accident. Luckily my other half always turns up shortly after and it was busy/Road works/ whatever. But 3 hours, yep would deffo go looking and chew gim a new one if he was just gambling at 8am. Insane. I’ve (28) been with my husband (31) for 5 years, married for 2. One daughter (almost 3 I’ll use v for her name) I love and appreciate my husband, he provides for our family and does a good job taking care of us, he’s a sweet man who has so much potential but he wastes it outside He’s always loved camping/being outside and I thought it was cute at first but at this point I find it hard ... YTA. This is pretty controlling behavior. I turned my search history off when I was doing research on proposals....he could literally be doing anything. I separated from my husband for 7 months and I saw a side of my dad and brother I never thought I would. They treated me terribly and sided with my husband completely. On multiple occasions they both told me to beg my husband for forgiveness even though we separated because of the way he was treating me. I (31F) work, my husband is a stay at home husband. I love my job, hate house chores and earn well enough to support us both. It's very much OUR money, we both contribute to this family, just not in the same way. Surprisingly my grandparents are a lot more understanding of our situation than people our age. AITA For asking husband to kick out FIL. Sorry if this is too long, I (f32) and husband (35m) currently rent a big house. When we were searching for a home to rent my father in law told my husband he wanted to live with us he wanted to help us and he would pay us rent. We talked it over and split the rent 3 ways . Yes, he probably has a problem but you can only help people who actually want help and it is not ops job to break her back to fix him. And I honestly think you are guilting op and that you advise is actually harmful here- even if you are correct. Op doesn't use the insults you contribute to her account of the story. Her husband has only come once (the year they were engaged because he wanted to meet the extended family). This year my sister & niece came for 5 days prior to Christmas and then went home on the 21st. They spent part of Christmas Day at his aunt's house. I think my sister really wanted to visit & do our family traditions with her toddler. YTA. He was there for you even though he did not want to be. You let yourself stew on him being in the kitchen on his phone (90% of the world can't go 5 minutes without looking at their phone so what is the big deal). You decided to leave because of that and he kept telling you to stay and have fun with your friends. YTA. This is pretty controlling behavior. I turned my search history off when I was doing research on proposals....he could literally be doing anything.Jul 5, 2018 · Specialk9 * July 5, 2018 at 11:59 am. Thirding this. I did everything OP did. What helped was my partner plugging away at some skills he thought (rightly) he needed before applying, then going to a career transition pro, who reviewed his resume and walked him through the interview questions and answers (including saying basically, totally get why you want to ask those pointed questions, but ... Thank you for fighting for Jayden/Jooneh, and I am hoping you win full custody of all of your children. Good luck in the future, and I wish Jayden/Jooneh all the love, from one member of the community to another, that they may find happiness in the future in spite of how poorly behaved their father is. 17. Pretty much this. NTA, of course. But that's almost besides the point. The real question isn't whether OP is an asshole or not. It's whether her husband is so psychotically cruel that he'd intentionally torment kids who just lost their father, or if he is just too dumb to realize that he unintentionally tormented said kids and absolutely should apologize profusely, repeatedly, and ASAP. AITA for spying on my husband? When my husband was young (siblings plus foster siblings) his mom had a rule that the person who served or divided the food was not allowed to be the first to pick their plate. For example, if there was a cake and one person cut it into slices but made one massive slice with the intention of taking it themselves ... OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I asked my husband's niece to give back the expensive gift we got her because she cancelled the celebration she usually does for my birthday, could be the ass because I asked her not to bring her boyfriend to the party and that is why she cancelled. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I said my husband is jealous of my relationship with our daughter. 2) I think i was rude. Looking professional for your job is important. Make up is a part of your wardrobe. That your husband is claiming “below his dignity” on jobs that could help support his family is crazy. His degree holds no value if he sits unemployed for too long. You’re months away from your baby being able to switch to milk. You keep saying he doesn’t leave the house, but that’s his choice, he’s a SAHD. You leaving your house for vacation would be the same for him. He also does all the work around the house. You sound like a misogynist with the reversal of these gender stereotypes. It does not seem like you enjoy your husband’s company. Judgement_Bot_AITA • 3 mo. ago. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: (1) I showed up to my husband's dr appointment. I separated from my husband for 7 months and I saw a side of my dad and brother I never thought I would. They treated me terribly and sided with my husband completely. On multiple occasions they both told me to beg my husband for forgiveness even though we separated because of the way he was treating me. Both-Enthusiasm708 Partassipant [1] • 7 mo. ago. NTA when someone is the affair partner, for however long, they have to accept that their place is not that of a family member. An AP is less than in the hierarchy in this situation, they have no legal or moral rights, that's what one accepts when they are the AP. I’ve (28) been with my husband (31) for 5 years, married for 2. One daughter (almost 3 I’ll use v for her name) I love and appreciate my husband, he provides for our family and does a good job taking care of us, he’s a sweet man who has so much potential but he wastes it outside He’s always loved camping/being outside and I thought it was cute at first but at this point I find it hard ... In the past he has expressed insecurity about it because I'm not financially dependent on him anymore. That said, in 9 years together, I've always worked, contributed to vacations, found crazy cheap travel deals ($600 to New Zealand, $500 to Tunisia, etc), and I've done 90% of the cooking. He's not my sugar daddy. Daily uploads: https://www.youtube.com/c/redditdude?sub_confirmation=1Leave comments, Like and Subscribe!Love to hear your feedbacks on how we can improve th... I made a folder with my name and I was searching for it when I found another folder with my name. The folder was full of reports on me, my family (including extended family) and two of my childhood friends. I read as much of the reports as I could before my husband and his family came home for the day.
Read this before contacting the mod team. My (23F) husband (27M) and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3. We’re both athletic people, so we’ve been planning a holiday for the past year, without going into major details it’s an expensive (by my standards) holiday and it would’ve involved a lot of hiking, I was looking forward ... . F550 dump truck for sale craigslist
YTA. He was there for you even though he did not want to be. You let yourself stew on him being in the kitchen on his phone (90% of the world can't go 5 minutes without looking at their phone so what is the big deal). You decided to leave because of that and he kept telling you to stay and have fun with your friends. Also, please be assured I do NOT think I am low-value in any way. I let my husband make me think less of myself on some levels for a short time but now I truly see it was a "him" problem. Obviously we don't share the same goals and values and he has become someone I don't recognize. I know the divorce won't be fun or easy, but I will be okay. Saying he doesn't want another child because you can't handle the workload is a complete joke. He is a father and should be contributing. At the very least, the two of you need counselling. You need to have a hard look at what you are getting out of this relationship while you are completely supporting him. NTA my husband also leaves his phone home all the time accidently and if he's gone a bit longer than expected I also worry he's been an accident. Luckily my other half always turns up shortly after and it was busy/Road works/ whatever. But 3 hours, yep would deffo go looking and chew gim a new one if he was just gambling at 8am. Insane.Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I said my husband is jealous of my relationship with our daughter. 2) I think i was rude. Both-Enthusiasm708 Partassipant [1] • 7 mo. ago. NTA when someone is the affair partner, for however long, they have to accept that their place is not that of a family member. An AP is less than in the hierarchy in this situation, they have no legal or moral rights, that's what one accepts when they are the AP. • 43 min. ago by Gromitthedog AITA for looking at my husband's search history and finding he signed up for dating sites? My husband (46m) and I (48f) have been married for 4 years with the last year separated and trying to work things out.This was an important event for your husband. He pointed out the issue with your dress and asked you not to wear it. You wore the dress anyway so you got what you wanted. Then you see the pictures and surprise it's as he stated. You demand he doesn't share pictures and again you get what you wanted. Looking professional for your job is important. Make up is a part of your wardrobe. That your husband is claiming “below his dignity” on jobs that could help support his family is crazy. His degree holds no value if he sits unemployed for too long. You’re months away from your baby being able to switch to milk. This is your legal right it is your money. If your husband won't accept this you probably need to go to marriage guidance or consider speaking to a lawyer. You certainly need to make sure that your husband is not putting all the excess money away in an account or investments only in his name. 8.9K. 33. • 43 min. ago by Gromitthedog AITA for looking at my husband's search history and finding he signed up for dating sites? My husband (46m) and I (48f) have been married for 4 years with the last year separated and trying to work things out. My advice would be to focus on your son, ignore your partners family and don’t get involved with anything to do with your former friend. If she reaches out, tell her to please speak to your husband regarding any issues about their shared child. Its not your responsibility to deal with her. 37. 1. He has a long time best friend, Jack (35M) that has been in his life since before my husband and I met. I like him well enough. The two of them have always been close and spent such a large amount of time together that, at one point, I was almost starting to suspect that my husband was lying about his whereabouts and was actually with another ... But I tried. And my husband supported me. My mental health improved greatly with his support, although I still had a myriad of other issues making holding a job difficult. After having my son, I had multiple surgeries to save my life, and we decided I would take a break from working and focus of recovery and parenthood. NTA - the next time your husband tells you to "humble yourself" tell him it is time for him to take a big helping of humble pie for himself and to shut up telling you what to do. OCD or not, he needs to hear this. Yeah, I got stuck on that too. Everything was normal, overtired squabbling, until “humble yourself”. AITA for spying on my husband? When my husband was young (siblings plus foster siblings) his mom had a rule that the person who served or divided the food was not allowed to be the first to pick their plate. For example, if there was a cake and one person cut it into slices but made one massive slice with the intention of taking it themselves ... My best friend used to do this until I raised my voice at her in a crowded restaurant, and she's never done it since. Unfortunately, this man sounds absolutely shameless. My best friend had bad manners from growing up in a similar environment to OP's husband, but she's not an altogether selfish human being. That's the difference. Saying he doesn't want another child because you can't handle the workload is a complete joke. He is a father and should be contributing. At the very least, the two of you need counselling. You need to have a hard look at what you are getting out of this relationship while you are completely supporting him. My husband said that he was just being there for the kids despite the fact he never had a good relationship with my children's father --- My ex husband was a good man, he wasn't the malicious type and he had always adored our kids and went to great lengths to provide them with a good life, it was rough while dealing with illness so he was and ... So my husband cheated WITH me when we first met and I think there’s still some deep rooted insecurities there. Thanks again for all of the input Update: IATA. I’ve apologized for violating his privacy. And we’ve talked about my insecurities and how looking through his phone is not the answer. Thanks everyone .